Postcards and Light Up Sneakers
by BecauseHeroesNeverDie
Summary: He was growing up sadder and weirder than he'd expected, but that wasn't so bad. Some kind of Soos coming of age story.
1. Day Off

Soos was getting in line with the other kids for their weekly fluoride treatment when the PA system crackled to life.

"Will Jesús Ramirez come to the office, please. Jesús Ramirez to the office," Principal Yi droned. She didn't sound too interested but Soos was glad that she always took the time to pronounce his name right. He decided to grab the bouncy ball from his bag before heading out.

"Ohhh, Soos did something bad," Amira stage-whispered, sending the class into giggles. Soos turned to smile at the rest of the class and waved as he headed out the door.

* * *

><p>His Abuelita was sitting in the office, her daisy-print dress clashing with the muted decor.<p>

"Hello, Abuela!" Soos greeted cheerfully. Then very seriously he held up one finger, "Wait a second."

He walked over to the secretary's desk and stood on his tiptoes. He dropped the red rubber ball and watched it roll toward her.

"For Principal Yi. She needs it more than I do."

"Thank you, Soos," the secretary smiled, catching the ball before it rolled over the edge of the counter and standing up to hand it off to the principal.

"Let us go, Soos."

* * *

><p>"Do I really get the whole day off, Abuela?" To say that Soos's eyes were the size of the moon would be a gross exaggeration. They were much bigger.<p>

Alba nodded, a tiny smile gracing her lips.

"Oh boy! I get to go to my favorite restaurant and I don't have to go back to class!" He grinned, swinging his legs. His sneakers smacked into the wood paneling under the booth seats and he looked down, admiring the disco light show his sneakers were putting on. One Hello Kitty sneaker for his right foot and Spider-man for his left. He'd gotten two pairs of shoes for Christmas and he hadn't been able to decide which pair he wanted to start with. Both seemed like the best idea to him.

"Why don't you go play for a bit? I think it will take awhile for our orders to come." It was a Thursday and the place was deserted. It was okay if the pizza was lukewarm by the time Soos remembered he was hungry. He'd still love it. And she'd end up ordering more later anyway. Soos jumped out of his seat and ran off into the glittering maze of Hoo-Ha's Game Zone.

It did not pass Alba's seasoned abuelita-sense that Soos did not ask what day it was this year.

* * *

><p>She found a postcard in the mailbox. She was glad Soos had already gone in the house but was prepared to hide the card in a coupon magazine at the slightest sign of movement. Unable to quell her curiosity, she found herself reading it.<p>

_This time of year always leaves me thinking of our loss. Your daughter was a beautiful woman and I'm happy we got the chance to know her for as long as we did. _

"Then why don't you come here and love the child she left behind?" Alba huffed, ripping the Golden Gate Bridge in half. She tossed the postcard in the trash as she walked through the door.

"Soos, I'm gonna make some dinosaur cookies!"

* * *

><p><em>Writer's woes: Sorry for disappearing for awhile. School has been crushing me, but I'm free now! I'll be getting back to responding to pms and posting fics so no worries. <em>

_This is just a tiny little thing I did on request from my bro badgerdactyl on tumblr- world needs more Soos guys so much more Soos. _

_2/15/15- Did some basic clean up, not too much though. Just started using the name I came up with for Soos' abuelita. _

_Stay strange!_


	2. Visit

It was about time that they stopped pretending they didn't know what day it was. Alba dragged herself down the hall, feeling like she'd break through the floorboards.

"Soos!" she stopped halfway down the hall to call out, "Come down; we're taking the truck to visit Arcelia."

"I'll be right out!" There was a loud crash, followed by several smaller thuds and thumps and a faint, but clearly enthused "I'm okay!"

Alba merely smiled in response, making a mental note to tell him to clean up his room later. It was clearly that time of the month again. She would tell him that he had to do it all on his own, to practice for the "real world," but she'd be in helping him before he could get all of his socks off of the floor.

"I'm ready! Let's go!" Soos thundered down the hall, his shoes flashing red and pink.

"No shoes in the house, Soos," she chided as the boy zipped past her. The paper trailing from his hand brushed against her as he went. She raised her hands in a theatrical display of defeat, turning around to follow her grandson. "The deed is done."

* * *

><p>Soos followed Abuelita into the truck. She pulled herself into the driver's seat and he settled in next to her. Some of the kids he went to class with laughed at their truck. He'd asked Raoul what was so funny and he'd shrugged and said some people thought it was weird for tiny old ladies to drive big trucks. Soos thought it suited her, steely gray with a powerful, growling engine. Hadn't they ever seen her when the cashier gave her the wrong lotto ticket at the gas station?<p>

The warning above his head said that he wasn't supposed to sit in front until he was thirteen years of age. He wasn't, but Abuelita had told him that it was okay. He was close enough, she'd reasoned, and anyway they'd say he was thirteen if Blubs and Durland stopped them. They were too wrapped up in each other to be of much use, giggling at their own jokes over the cop radio instead of catching whoever was stealing Lazy Susan's pies.

Soos couldn't believe he was going to be twelve soon. It was two months away but he was already excited. He liked the way twelve looked, the curve of the two, the weight of another year of double digits. He would be twelve, as many years as there were months in the year, eggs in a dozen, and cookies you could make with a pack of Chapman's cookie dough if you made some of them a little smaller. He was already planning the party. He'd designed invitations on one of the library's computers and printed out exactly two copies. He would get the other ten he needed at the copier store. He was going to ask Abuelita to mail an invitation to his dad. Soos was sure the man already knew when his birthday was and was likely undertaking an epic cross-country roadtrip to make it in time at that very moment, but he figured he might need a reminder. And Soos was proud of how they'd come out and wanted him to see, maybe ruffle his hair and say "great job, son." Something like that.

He kicked at the glove compartment, reassured by the light of his sneakers.

"So, what have you got there?" Abuelita twisted in her seat to look at him.

"I made it for mom!" Soos waved around the ribbon he'd made so she could see it. He'd stapled Hoo-Ha's Fun Tickets(™) together to make a big bow with two trailing tails. It had taken around forty tickets. He'd come up with the idea while lounging in the play palace, staring down at the tables and games from behind a bubble. He hadn't been able to get the jumping frog toy he'd wanted but he thought this was nicer.

"It's very nice, Soos." Abuelita reached across the seat to ruffle his hair. The car wobbled to the side and her hands quickly returned to the steering wheel.

* * *

><p>Abuelita removed the plastic from the bouquet of daisies in her hands and laid them down on the grave.<p>

"For you, Arcelia," she said softly. She kissed her index and middle fingers then laid them on the stone. She side-stepped away and hovered on the edge of the plot, pulling out a rosary from her pocket and counting prayers on its smooth red beads.

"Hey, mom," Soos breathed, taking tiny steps forward. They were so careful, so tiny that his shoes didn't light up at all. He placed the ticket bow over Abuelita's daisies. "I got you this bow- I made it myself!"

He pulled a creased piece of paper from his pocket and looked down at it. His brow wrinkled, unsure of whether or not he should leave the paper behind. Before he could change his mind, he slipped it underneath the flowers so it wouldn't blow away.

"And I know you can't come, but I wanted you to see."

Soos stood up and looked down at the offerings. The wind picked up, pulling the paper open. There was an explosion on the front, along with a handful of carefully-chosen words and exclamation points. "**Soos is gonna be 12! We gonna party like it's his birthday!"** As he turned to face Abuelita, he swore he felt a gentle hand brush his cheek.

Must've been the wind.

* * *

><p><em>Writer's woes: I've decided to keep going with this! It's mostly going to be scattered little stories that connect. It seems that there's some kind of bigger story developing already. I'm looking forward to working on this. I think I'm going to have Monday's be update days? We'll see how that goes.<em>

_I'm also wondering about naming characters? I gave Soos' mom a name after searching around on name websites for a bit. Tell me if it works for you! _

_Stay strange!_


	3. Windowman

Two months felt like it was taking two million forevers, but time did what it does best and, day by day, it passed. The wait was made easier when the packages started coming in the mail. The family was spread out over two continents and couldn't be expected to show up for birthday parties, so they mailed their gifts. The presents were odd as they didn't know him well but Soos found he didn't mind.

They sent odds and ends. Socks, a couple pairs of sneakers, bouncing balls, money taped into cards shaped like twelves.

His favorite gift had to be the one from Aunt Carolina. She'd sent a small box with a several packages of Spanish and Japanese candies and a knotted bracelet nestled in glittery wrapping paper. When he'd opened the accompanying card, a picture had fallen out. The note on the back informed him that it was Aunt Carolina herself, her husband, and her two children. They were at a beach and all wearing the same lime-green visors. The card read "Happy Birthday, Soos. Hope you have a wonderful year! God bless, Auntie Carolina. P.S. I made the bracelet myself!" Something about the way it all came together made Soos smile.

He didn't mind them not being around when they seemed so thoughtful.

* * *

><p>"So, what're you gonna do when school gets out?" Raoul started the moment he'd reached Soos' spot on the bus. He dumped his backpack on the seat, his rear end soon following suit.<p>

"I don't know yet," Soos said, frowning. Raoul was starting to get pushy about summer plans. When Soos wasn't thinking about his birthday, he didn't mind that summer was far off.

"That's okay, but we need to start making plans soon. And one or both of us needs to think about a job if we're gonna get to go to the waterpark…" Raoul was the plan man and Soos let him figure things out. He knew that in the coming weeks, his friend would have summer checklists prepared for both of them.

"Wait a minute, dude, I've got something for you. It's, like, a surprise, so keep those eyes closed!" Raoul's eyes snapped shut. Soos rifled through his backpack and pulled out a fistful of unopened trading card packs. He rushed to pick off the backpack-bottom dust and thrust the pile into his friend's outstretched hands. "Open your eyes, dude!"

"Whoa! These are for me- you can't be serious!" Raoul stared at him like he was the second coming of Christ.

"Yep," Soos nodded, "My cousins Jorge and Mickey in Ohio sent them to me. They didn't know that I don't play those kinds of games so they sent me a bunch. I knew you liked these, so I thought you'd want 'em."

"This is wild, bro! I mean, you kept some for yourself, right?"

Soos nodded again. He was impressed with the shiny foil packaging and had decided to let himself open a couple packs. He'd taped a couple of cards on his wall, because he liked the way they looked. His Abuelita said that the things you put on your walls protected you. The living room, hallways, and her bedroom were protected by the dream team- Soos and Jesus. Soos' room was protected by dragons, dinosaurs, fairies.

He liked the way the pictures looked on his walls, but he thought he liked the face Raoul made when he got those cards a little better.

For the rest of the ride, he listened to his friend debate on how he was going to restructure his decks based on his new haul. He nodded in the right places, staring out the bus window. There was a man following along the bus route, jumping from tree to tree, balancing along the telephone wires like an expert trapeze artist.

He looked a lot like the man in the pictures that Abuelita hid.

* * *

><p>"Are you drawing Mr. Pines?" Amira asked him in art class, hovering behind him and poking at his shoulder.<p>

"Yeah."

"Why?" Amira did not ask if she could sit with him. She just sat down.

"Well, Mr. Beleprise says we gotta draw people from town and-"

"Okay, cool. Real reason."

"I dunno, I think he's really cool…" Soos rubbed his chin, deep in thought. He loved to visit the Mystery Shack and listen to Mr. Pines talk about the wonders of the universe. He felt like a character in a video game when he went on tours, learning about mystical items that could aid him on his quest. "He knows everything… Like a wise sage guy from _Mystic Fantasy_!"

"I don't know…" Amira's nose wrinkled, "He looks a little more like a Disney villain to me."

"You shouldn't talk about grown-ups like that, someone's gonna…"

"You misunderstand me, young one. He's weird-looking and mean, but I think he's kinda cool, too. And," Amira allowed for a dramatic pause, leaning toward him and cupping her mouth with one hand, "I think he's on to something. This town _is _weird. Majorly."

"Go away, Amira," Raoul said with gritted teeth, settling in on Soos' other side, "And stop spreading lies."

"I'm not spreading lies, I haven't even said anything good yet." She turned back to Soos, "So, have you heard of the Windowman?"

"The who?" he asked, ignoring Raoul's loud groaning.

"Not this again!"

"Y'know how sometimes you see someone following along with you when you're looking out the car window? Well, it's not your imagination! There's a real guy walking on the wires."

"Really? I think I saw him on the bus ride this morning!" Soos' eyes widened, realization striking him.

"You did not. We were sitting together and you didn't say anything. Don't encourage-"

"He looked like my dad. Do you think he _is _my dad?"

"I don't think so…" she frowned, picking at a pin in her hijab. "I saw a big alligator and Courtney says she saw a giant Barbie and Eric… Well, it doesn't matter. I've conducted serious studies and made a complete survey of the class and everyone sees something different."

"Oh."

"I'm gonna add your answer to my survey, thank you for your service, vigilant citizen," she said in a mock professional voice, getting up from her seat, "And Raoul, according to my survey, you're our only nonbeliever. Open your eyes, man."

"I cannot believe her," Raoul huffed, aggressively digging his nails into his eraser.

"I think she's-"

"Come on, Amira's always lying about that junk, Soos. Making up weird stuff and when you ask her about it again she doesn't even remember!"

"Dude, I saw-"

"I'm not going to talk about that fake stuff. If you want to lie all the time too, you can go be best friends with Amira!"

"It's not-"

"Just no."

* * *

><p>School was winding to an end and Soos was praying for the summer because anything was better than this awkwardness. Bus rides had gotten tense since the art class fiasco. Soos stared out the window and Raoul sulked at his side. He wished he hadn't given him all of the extra cards already. He'd tried to pull a couple off of the walls but the backs had torn off a little. He didn't think a few ripped up reject cards would make him smile like before.<p>

Soos watched his dad run across the wires. It wasn't him and it wasn't Soos' imagination.

Something strange was going on in Gravity Falls.

* * *

><p>Raoul was thoroughly miserable not talking to Soos. He still followed him around and sat next to him in all his classes, but it was different. He had to stop himself from laughing when his best friend made good jokes and stare at his food during lunchtime. Chicken patties were only so interesting. And he had big plans for the summer and no one to talk them out with.<p>

He had to make things better with Soos. But how was he supposed to do that without admitting he was wrong. He was _not_ wrong.

The breaking point for Raoul's indomitable will came during math class. It was quiz day. He always, always forgot his pencil on quiz day. If he was Amira, he would be certain it was some kind of conspiracy.

"Can I have a pencil?" he whispered to Soos, breaking his vow of semi-silence.

"Uh, sure." Soos handed him a pencil with dinosaurs on it. Raoul knew it was one of his best.

"Look," he sighed, taking the dinosaur-plastered olive branch. "I'm sorry about this whole thing. We should talk again."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Soos reassured him, flashing him a smile and raising two thumbs up.

He couldn't believe that it was that simple. He grinned and looked down at his math test, no longer fearing for his social situation.

In all the chaos, he'd forgotten to study. Shoot.

* * *

><p>Summer started and continued and they hadn't done anything on Raoul's list. Soos had barely even seen his friend. They'd had a couple of epic squirt gun wars, but they hadn't done much else. Raoul had summer camp most days. Abuelita couldn't afford to send Soos.<p>

Mostly, Soos didn't mind. He liked the adventures he had with Abuela, trips to the grocery and the hairdresser, tea at her friends' houses. Photo albums he'd never be able to puzzle out and cats that were starting to like him. He played video games in his room during the evening and poked his head out the window to look at the stars when it got dark. He swore he saw eyes watching him from the woods, glowing slightly and winking at him. They were like a second set of stars, the woods like the sky tipped on its side.

He made up constellations in the second sky, squares, rhombuses, the occasional triangle. He had trouble coming up with stories for them. The only thing that struck him was that a god had dumped his geometry homework in Gravity Falls.

He had trouble praying so he talked out the window before bed, to the stars, to the eyes.

"You think Dad's coming to my birthday party? It's coming up real soon and he's gotta be on the road right now. He hasn't come before but this year's different. I haven't been twelve before."

He settled down in his bed, the wind from the window he didn't close rustling his curtains and ruffling his hair.

"He's gonna come."

* * *

><p>Alba said she would take Soos anywhere he liked in town before his birthday party. She'd known what he would pick before she'd even asked. The Mystery Shack had a new attraction opening.<p>

She stood with the tour group, showing the utmost self restraint. No eyerolls, no tip-tapping foot. She listened, sneaking peeks at Soos' awe-struck face. He was loving every minute and she could enjoy that even if she couldn't appreciate the wax figures of celebrities she didn't recognize or the animal carcasses unceremoniously sewn, taped, glued together.

She was on edge, worried that Soos would be miserable when his stupid father let him down once again. She could suffer through anything as long as it made Soos happy, Stan Pines included.

She smiled at the two kids who gave Soos a couple of candy bars. She rifled through her purse, finding nothing but two sticks of winter mint gum to give them in return. They said it was no problem and rushed off. She was glad for any good the day brought and each bright thing brought a tense smile to her lips. She watched Soos carefully, ready for the earth to crack open underneath them, the sun to go dark, explosions to go off all around them.

When postcard that came in the mail later that day it did not surprise her. Not one bit.

* * *

><p>Soos stared into the shoebox full of postcards and focused on not crying.<p>

_Sorry Champ_. His dad hadn't even written his name. The letter was addressed to Jesús. Everyone, even forgetful Aunt Carmen who could never remember how old he was, knew that he liked to be called Soos. His dad didn't know. His dad didn't know his shoe size (8), his favorite color (fuchsia tiger stripes at the moment), or how many points he could rack up in Nort on a good day (2,618). His dad didn't even know what he looked like.

Soos dumped himself in his bed, pulling the covers around himself. He knew he wouldn't be able to fall asleep with the sun streaming in through his window.

He waited, twisting restlessly in bed. He thought of getting up, of going back to the party or at least pushing a tape into his VCR and watching videos until his brain became as fuzzy as the parts where nothing was recorded and the tv sputtered and buzzed, trying to offer up more sounds and images, but having nothing to give.

Why didn't his dad want to see him? Eight years was a long time and it was only getting longer. On the last Fun Fact Friday of the school year, Principal Yi had announced that every seven years, the cells in the body are completely replaced.

"That means," she'd continued in her usual drone, "That each and every one of us is an entirely new person every seven years! This has been Fun Fact Friday."

How many new people were they going to go through before his dad wanted to see him? What if he didn't want to see him anymore because he was one of the new people? What if these new people were really aliens slowly replacing all of humanity, one cell at a time?

Soos guessed that it didn't matter. Just like he didn't matter.

* * *

><p>Soos tried not to look up at the telephone wires when he was sitting next to Abuela in the truck. He stared down at the tree trunks, kept his eyes on the road ahead, or rummaged around in the glove box.<p>

"Do you like your new job?" Abuelita asked one day as they made their way to the supermarket.

"Yeah! It's awesome," Soos chirped. Thinking about his job brought him out of his darkest moods. He was having such a good time, even if he was just repairing the golf cart and sweeping the Shack's floors. He smiled to himself, turning to look out the window again. Despite what he'd promised himself, he found his eyes drawn to the skyline.

Mr. Pines was balancing on the telephone wire, his bulky form cutting into the bright blue sky. He was whistling and swinging his cane around. Soos blinked and the image remained. It didn't make any sense, because he knew for certain that Mr. Pines was afraid of heights. Looked like Amira's Windowman was back.

He found himself laughing as the fake Mr. Pines scrambled from tree to tree.

"What's so funny?"

* * *

><p><em>Writer's woes: Ok so I need to start these earlier obviously! It's still technically Monday where I am. I think. This chapter was way longer than I thought it would be and I had a lot of trouble with it, but I don't mind the end result. I think I need to give myself more time, so that I can actually try out rewrites and edits next time. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The monster is from some notes I have on a character concept from one of my original stories so I hope you like that too. <em>

_Stay strange! _


	4. Fixin' it?

_Note: I decided to name Soos' Abuela because it looks less awkward. I'll probably go back and fix it in later chapters! Soos parts will still refer to her as Abuela because they're more of his point of view._

**Also thanks to all the lovely readers but massive props to the following rockstars: broken halleluiah (holy heck you are so awesome- it's always so great to see your reviews!), cartoonsforlife1314, shizuku tsukishima749 (you are amazing- I don't think I've ever had a more consistent reviewer!), Montydragon, and StkAmbln (who came back!) **

* * *

><p>There was never any need to set an alarm clock in the Ramirez house. Alba Rosa Ramirez was up before the roosters, the sun, and, somehow, Old Man McGucket. She had been an early riser since the summers she had spent as a young girl helping her aunt and uncle on their farm. There were no cows to milk or eggs to gather here, but there was still tea to put on and eggs to fry.<p>

So, at five thirty am, Alba rose from her bed, bones creaking in protest. She pulled a long, lumpy pillow from her bed and pulled a rosary from a crude pocket in the middle. Soos had made her a kneeler in his Home Economics class last year. She had waved him off, telling him that she didn't need anything so luxurious, her knees could handle the linoleum floor just fine, but she liked it all the same. She placed it on the floor in front of her and knelt for her morning prayers.

"Please, Maria, look after my Soos. He is good. Do not let him get into trouble. Do not let others step on him or use his kindness wrongly," she started off, wrapping the beads around her hands. She counted off her prayers, beads passing through her fingers one after another. "Amen."

She pulled herself up some twenty minutes later. Quietly, expertly she remade her bed and then left the room.

She was still trying to find the perfect time to wake Soos up for his work. Alba was not sure how, but Soos had left the house with a screwdriver and one shoe falling off of his foot and had come back with a job.

She put the kettle on the stove, humming to herself. The oven clock read 6:00 AM. She got him up around this time for school, so it would not be unreasonable to start calling for him now. She'd wait for a few minutes between each call and in twenty minutes or so she'd knock on his door and make him eat something for breakfast.

"Soos!" Alba called, as she settled at the table with a plate of toast and a chipped royal doulton teacup.

"Abuela, I'm ready! When are we going?" Soos was at the table a record fifteen minutes early. He ran around the room in a flurry, hurrying over to the the fridge and pulling out the apple juice.

"Have some of toast." She peeled off the second paper plate that was stuck to her own and handed it to him.

"Thanks!" Soos smiled, then went straight to work.

"Calm down, Soos," Alba snapped. She continued, trying to soothe his nerves and make sure he did not think she was mad at him. "Mr. Pines isn't going to move away while we're eating breakfast."

"Okie dookie!"

She took a sip of tea and smiled. Mornings were so lovely.

* * *

><p>Soos had pretended to calm down when Abuelita had asked him to, but he simply could not. The world was buzzing and he was a round little bee humming along to the summer's song. And the summer's song was fast and golden and wonderful. He had gotten up at five thirty am but he didn't tell Abuelita because she would just tell him to go back to bed.<p>

His Mystery Shack staff shirt was hung over his bed and it wasn't the first thing he saw (the ceiling) or the second (the cards on his wall), but it felt like the first real thing that had ever existed. He had put it on, imagining a chorus of angels singing and a heavenly beam of light falling on him from an open window nestled in the ceiling that was not there.

In actuality, the room had been silent except for the occasional woodpecker call that floated in through the open window.

Abuelita sat across the table from him, drinking her tea and handing him pieces of toast. He slathered them with strawberry jam and tried to eat as slowly as possible. In his head, he was flying out the door, over the treetops, to his first day of work at the most magical place in the known and unknown universe, the Mystery Shack.

* * *

><p>Soos flew out of the car like a pinball pushed by one of those pinball pushing things and Alba waved until he was out of her sight. She shook her head, her lips falling back into a contemplative frown. She turned the truck around and drove away.<p>

Back at home, she wandered the hallway, vacuum in hand. It would be much easier to clean up Soos' room without Soos around. She hovered in front of his door, staring down the scraps of paper taped to the wood. There were new pictures, ones he must have put up in the past two or three days. One picture was of the two kids who had been nice enough to give Soos candy on his birthday. She squinted at the picture, frustrated at her inability to place them. They must have been tourists. Another was of Mr. Pines walking on telephone wires and entertaining a large and fairly elaborately illustrated crowd of locals. There were several rough crayon drawings of that broken down shack and the awful shyster running it.

She prayed that the man would not let Soos down, but it seemed inevitable. He was rude, conniving, and absolutely disgusting. Yet some strange force had possessed him to hire her sweet grandson and she almost dared to wonder if it was kindness. She snorted at the thought and pushed open the door, the vacuum dragging behind her.

She would certainly have a word with that Stan Pines.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Mr. Pines!" Soos chirped as the screen door snapped shut behind him.<p>

"Oh! Uh, 'morning, kid," Mr. Pines grumbled from behind the cash register. His jacket was flung on the chair behind him, his fez was askew, and his eyepatch was dangling from his left hand. He stared up at Soos blankly for a moment, mouth hanging open. He quickly realigned his fez and tossed his jacket on. The elastic in his eyepatch made a snapping sound as it fell over his right eye. "Show time."

"What am I doing today?" Soos chanced, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

"Well, the cart needs looking at and there's a leak in the kitchen… sweep until Snake Tattoo Guy gets here. And by sweep I mean… well, I, uh, I mean sweep but also watch the shop. I need to get ready." With that Mr. Pines waltzed off through a curtain marked Employees Only, a book tucked under his arm.

"Roger that, Mr. Pines!"

Soos was just finishing up his first-ever work assignment when a large man covered in snake tattoos entered the front door.

"Good morning!" He called out to him. Snake Tattoo Guy nodded and sat behind the register without a word.

"Weather's nice, right?" The man remained silent.

"I hear that thirty percent of Gravity Falls' cow population are actually aliens, what do you think?" A snort- that was encouraging. Soos paused, digging for something else to say. "What do aliens want with those cows anyway? Are they making cosmic milkshakes? Do they need it to make the perfect grilled cheese sandwiches? Or mayonnaise?"

"You don't make mayonnaise with milk," the man suddenly spoke, his voice surprisingly soft.

"What?"

"You make it with like… oil an' eggs, I think," he tapped his chin as he spoke.

"Oh, okay. Then they better start going after the chickens at the petting zoo, too!"

Snake Tattoo Guy laughed, then added, "They can take all o' those demons, if they want. I won' miss 'em."

"Aw, but what about mayonnaise, sir?"

Snake Tattoo Guy was once again without words and remained as such for the rest of the day. Soos didn't take offense to this; talking could be really hard sometimes. He smiled at the man every time he entered the gift shop. More often than not, the man smiled back.

Soos didn't know how to fix anything yet, so he mostly looked at the things Mr. Pines told him to look at. The pipe under the sink leaked and Soos watched. The golf cart made a strange, sickly gargling roar and Soos listened.

He wrapped the pipe in electrical wire and knew he would be going to the library later to take out a couple books about plumbing and mechanics. There was no way he was going to mess up and lose this job. If something needed fixing, then Soos was going to fix it.

* * *

><p>Alba had not made a list of all of the things she expected Soos to say to her when he got in the truck, but if she had "Could you please, please take me to the library, Abuela?" would not be anywhere on it.<p>

She paused a moment, her eyebrows shooting up into her perm. However, all she said was "Alright, _mijo_" and headed straight to the library.

"Thanks!" Soos chirped. He turned away from her and rolled the window down.

"Don't put your head out there," she chided, not even glancing in his direction but simply _knowing_ what he was up to.

"Noted." The sound of the window being cranked up filled the silence. There was no heavy thud, so he had not entirely closed the window. The wind made a whip-whistling sound as it passed through the crack. "Are you gonna come in too?"

"No, I have something else," she said, a smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"Oh, alright. Are you gonna look for me or do I get to walk home? Is that a yes I'm hearing about walking home? It's totally a yes."

"If that's what you want, _mijo_."

"Sweet!" A pudgy fist was thrust into the air.

"Well, you stay as long as you like but be home at six, understand?"

"Okay!" Soos was out of the car in no time and Alba was grinning at the little crucifix hanging from the rearview mirror. The Lord had handed her the perfect opportunity to give Stan Pines a stern talking to and she was not about to waste it.

* * *

><p>Giant, and possibly angry, towers of knowledge loomed over Soos and he had the audacity to return their stare. Or at least he squinted up at one book with an eye adorning its spine in what he considered to be a threatening manner. Still the stacks would not yield their knowledge unto him. He frowned, running a hand along the spines and picking out a book with the rather promising title <em>If You Can't Fix the Sink Then How Can You Be Expected to Fix Your Own Life<em>. He glanced over the table of contents, already feeling in over his head. He imagined the faucet in the Mystery Shack bursting open and flooding the kitchen. He tried to fight it, fruitlessly whipping a mop around and swallowing dirty water…

"We don't read books here!" A hand was placed on Soos' shoulder. He jumped, dropping the book and turning to face whoever was trying to talk to him.

"Old Man McGucket!" he gasped, reaching down to pick up his book.

"Ya won't find true knowledge there- no, ya won't!" The man slapped the book out of his hands. "Can't get nothing from book learnin' that ya can't get with yer own hands."

"Do you know anything about fixing sinks and golf carts?" Soos asked, finding himself strangely calm. Sure, Abuelita said to stay away from Old Man McGucket and he had just made him drop the book he'd been looking at twice, but he didn't see any harm in asking.

"O' course! An' I can make 'em better too!" Old Man McGucket flashed him a toothy grin and started running down the aisle. "Come on over here and I'll learn ya well."

"Why not?" Soos shrugged, following him through the stacks.

* * *

><p>Stanford Pines wiped the sweat off his brow with a dirty jacket sleeve. He scanned the gift shop- the last tour scheduled for the day was over, the kid was gone, Snake Tattoo Guy had just headed out. There was absolutely no reason for him to believe that he would be anything other than completely alone until the next day. He locked the front door.<p>

His gaze shifted from the vending machine to the living room, deliberating. He began to hobble across the room, leaning much more heavily on his cane then he would if anyone could see him. As he placed his hand on the keys of the vending machine, there was a knock at the door. He froze. If it was one of those damn government men, he swore to _God_ he was going to-

"Yes, hello, Mr. Pines. I must talk with you."

Unless the government had started using old ladies to do their dirty work (those monsters!), he was safe for now. He let out a gust of air and walked to the door.

"H-hello, m'am," he managed. It was not as suave as he would have liked, but it was something. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm Soos' grandmother and I just wanted to talk to you."

"Alright, what's up?" Stanford Pines could handle one tiny granny. This situation was totally- and suddenly he found himself being pulled forward by his lapels. "H-hey!"

"Look. Soos is a good, sweet child. Do not hurt him or disappoint him or suddenly pack up your awful business one day without a word." She pushed him away.

He brushed off his suit, absolutely bewildered. He knew he didn't have the best reputation, but he didn't think he deserved to be threatened in his own home.

"You don't make him feel bad, okay?" The woman raised a fist. "Understood?"

"Crystal clear," he sputtered.

Soos' grandmother slammed his own door in his face. He stood in the doorway for a moment, mouth agape, before retreating to the living room.

He was going to need to think this one over for a bit.

* * *

><p><em>Writer's Woes: So I finally figured out how to do page breaks on here and boy do I feel much more professional! Okay, so I missed updating last week and I could say that I was starting school and I just didn't have time, but I got myself anxious and ended up freezing. I'm going to try to keep updating weekly because I think it will help me grow as a writer. I'm still working on planning out how these chapters work but there are always surprises that change things here and there. I was totally not expecting McGucket to show up but it made a lot of sense as I was writing. I feel like the last scene was a bit anticlimax. I haven't written a lot of conflict scenes so I wasn't sure what to do. However, I'm super excited to keep trying new things with this fic!<em>

_Stay strange! _


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